Terrible Two's Aren't So Terrible

Well, I thought I was going to get to escape terrible two's...you see, my older two didn't have this lovely issue. But I thank my Lord for this adorable third child, Ryan A. everyday. Whether I am wrestling him to sit in his carseat, begging him to stop splashing in the bath, or covering his mouth, trying to muffle his yells in a restuarant, because he doesn't want to be in his highchair...I still thank God. Sometimes it may be thankfulness through clenched teeth and the others time it is with a tear in my eye and a smile in my soul.

His daddy thinks he's funny and that he's never met another child like him, but he is with me on the misbehavior. He doesn't want Ry to be an unruly little beast, but more like a perfect little gentelmen with plenty of manners.

Ryan is at the stage where is repeating words that his mama, daddy and big brothers and sisters say. Words that are looked down on especially in the two year old class at a Christian daycare. =) We all try not to say them (Shut up, stupid, etc.), but find our selves being repeated pretty often. So, we are really trying to work on that. Also, we love to wrestle and play rough at home...this is another intolerable thing at daycare. Last week, Ryan received a straight face on his calendar with the phrase "Was sent to the office for tackling other children". I blame that one on Will and myself!!!! But the age difference is the biggest problem, I'm 30 and he's two and half! No really the little thing is surrounded by everyone older than him, so he's left to fend for himself.

I have pictures of him with a pacifier in his mouth that belongs to Landon's doll, pictures of him with a mohawk in the tub, and pictures on his dirty little face at dinner time. He is our little clown. He is a people-pleasurer, much like his father. He loves to sing, "Twinkle, twinkle little star, and Sweet Home Alabama", and we all love to hear him say "Roll Tide", "Watch this Daddy", "Bo Henry" or "I pooted".

He also has the weird phobia. It's floating hair in the bath tub. He is scared it is going to get him. He hops out of the bath tub and says "It going to get me." It is the weirdest thing. Landon says he's scared because it looks like the jellyfish tentacle that wrapped around his arm this summer at the ocean. I think she is right. By the way, Ryan loves the beach. He loves the river, the pool, the bath, the creek, anything with water.

He is learning his colors and shapes at school and we quiz him on them at night at home. We also proudly display his artwork on the refrigerator. Terrible two's aren't so terrible. Especially in the night when he wraps his arms around my neck and says "I love you Mommy".

I Want to Apologive and Make You Proud

It's funny how old habits die hard. I have tried to maintain control of my life and to do right, but I find myself falling flat on my face every time. I can't do this. I have to trust God with my life. I have to give Him the control.
I will never be the best mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend, future wife to anyone until I do this. There are so many important people in my life. There are many that I've hurt or let down, and there are some that have never seen the real "Kim". Some people know me like the back of their hand and some that only know me superficially. But nevertheless the depth of your knowledge of me, I have a new part of me to reveal. I hope that I can make you proud. I want to ultimately please my God, but what a added pleasure to be able to make others proud too.
I know that I'm not perfect, but it's OK to strive for perfection. It's not right to judge, but is OK to lead and hold others accountable (answerable). I want to handle others correctly, but I have to find this balance. That means I have to be instructed by God before I speak, before I act, before I do anything. Man what a battle for Kim. I am so well-known for my control issues and using my on strength.
One thing that I'm sure of is that I need to be aware that I have died to sin when I asked Jesus in my heart. I was crucified with Christ. I have to remember to turn my back on this world because this isn't my home. Instead of being a slave to this world, I need to be a slave to righteousness. It leads to holiness - what I am desperate to be. (Romans 6:19)
I want to apologize to everyone that I have hurt. Those I've hurt with my judgements, those I've hurt with my disobedience, those I've hurt with my unholiness. My Lord knows my heart, and He knows that I'm sorry for these things. And now I ask you to forgive me. You know who you are. Yes you, and you, and you...

When will I know God's Will for my life?

I have been wondering for a long time. I have been wandering around, wrapped up in a relationship that hasn't met God's confirmation. I have been praying and waiting for signs, for something, anything. Maybe God has answered me and I didn't want to see the answer or maybe He isn't ready to answer me, because I'm not ready for what He has in store. Sometimes I just get frustrated and sick of wondering. Then others times, I realize that I haven't been living right and I have be in sin, so how did God hear me anyway???
I know my God loves me and He wants what is best for me. I feel like I have wasted so much time, and I can't get it back. My two oldest have grown so much and it's a blur. I haven't been focused on them like I should have been and I have missed some beautiful moments. I have always wondered when my phone would ring next, if I was going to receive a text message, if I was going to get an email, waiting to be surprised and hoping for everthing to fall into place. I dare not say how long I've been living like this. It's to painful and shameful to say aloud.
When will I know God's Will for my life? That's a good question, and I don't know when I will know. I hope it will be soon, but I hope I'm ready for it.
I pray that God will continue to change me and I pray that I will continue to push forward toward the prize. I want my Lord to be glorified. I have yet to say "so long to self", but slowly, everyday I let go a little more. I am a creature of habit, so this is so hard for me. I like consistency. I don't like change like the next guy, but to be able to be submissive to God's Will, I have to be ready for anything. I am excited but I am scared. I want to be willing but I know exactly how controlling I am.
If God is going to work, I have to move out of the way and let Him be God. He needs to be God over what I watch, what I listen to, what I think about, what I love. I haven't lived like this since I was young. And I didn't understand then what I was going to face in this old world.
I thought I knew so much. I thought there was nothing that could surprise me....nothing to bring me down. How wrong, prideful, arrogant and selfish I was. I have realized what kind of person I am today because of my past, and I don't like what I see. I have a lot to change with God's help. But I am promised victory for my obedience. I am promised God's best if I surrender. Maybe I do know God's Will, maybe it's to just grow and to be where I am right now. Who knows, other than Him.
It's tough "on my way back to Him"! But the payoff is priceless.

Is dating right for me?

I've been married before. I was married for 8, almost 9 years. Being thirty and unmarried, poses the question, "will I ever marry again?" At this point in my life, I don't know the answer to that. I love the idea of being married. I love the thought of waking up to someone every morning, someone to love, some one to worship with, someone to be my leader and someone to help with the daily chores (cutting grass, taking out the trash, giving the dog a bath). If you noticed, that's the ones I don't like to do (man jobs)! But by no means, do I just want to be married to have these things.
I want to have my God's blessing, His direction, His best! I sometimes think I have messed that up by divorcing. And this causes me to have constant regret and it leaves me feeling depressed and that I will never again be happy. But maybe this shouldn't be my focus. I am wondering if I need to take some time away from love and the thoughts of marriage and just focus on "my first love". If I will focus on Him and spend time with Him, I will develop His characters, and that will be even more helpful when I'm searching for Godly character in my future husband.
I was googling the words "on my way back to Him" and I found this interesting site. It was about "why dating does not work". I have to say that it captured my attention, since I'm on my way back to Him. I want to please God with my life once again. So, I began to read this manual posted on www.passionforpurity.org.
Here the author reasons why she wrote it, "I believe that we can gain knowledge two ways, one from doing something right, or from doing it wrong then realizing the right way. Much of my knowledge in life was from doing something wrong, learning, then doing it right. Unfortunately I've "been there...done that!" This article expresses my life lessons and my little bits of wisdom that I've learned along the way."
I definitely encourage anyone and everyone that is single, or who has teenage children, or who needs a guide to help others that are single regarding dating, pre-marital sex, and post-marital dating, to read this.
I would appreciate any prayers lifted up for me regarding my dating life. You see, I have three very special treasures that depend on my wisdom through Christ to make the right decision. And the way I live my life today, is teaching my children how to live their lives tomorrow.

Landy makes Student of the Week

I was so happy when Landon came home and presented me with papers that announced, "Landon Jones is Student of the Week". She is so excited, especially that it will be announced on the local radio station. She is a fifth grader and is so grown up now. I made a promise to her when she was in Third grade after constant pleadings "can I take my purse to school?" So I pulled this one out of the air, not believing it would ever get here, "you can in the Fifth grade". Boy, how can it already be time to allow her to take her purse?
On the first day of school, she proudly packed her purse (it was more important than the newly stocked backpack). I was happy for her, because she didn't ask anymore and patiently waited for her fifth school year.
I have a lot to be thankful for in my life, but I must say that I swell up with gratitude to God every time I think of her or someone says her name. She is my firstborn and she is very gifted.
She is my best friend and if I could be like anyone in the world, I would choose to be like her. So, I proudly post this little girl as my first post. God knew where I would be today and life with Landon is so sweet.