It's funny how old habits die hard. I have tried to maintain control of my life and to do right, but I find myself falling flat on my face every time. I can't do this. I have to trust God with my life. I have to give Him the control.
I will never be the best mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend, future wife to anyone until I do this. There are so many important people in my life. There are many that I've hurt or let down, and there are some that have never seen the real "Kim". Some people know me like the back of their hand and some that only know me superficially. But nevertheless the depth of your knowledge of me, I have a new part of me to reveal. I hope that I can make you proud. I want to ultimately please my God, but what a added pleasure to be able to make others proud too.
I know that I'm not perfect, but it's OK to strive for perfection. It's not right to judge, but is OK to lead and hold others accountable (answerable). I want to handle others correctly, but I have to find this balance. That means I have to be instructed by God before I speak, before I act, before I do anything. Man what a battle for Kim. I am so well-known for my control issues and using my on strength.
One thing that I'm sure of is that I need to be aware that I have died to sin when I asked Jesus in my heart. I was crucified with Christ. I have to remember to turn my back on this world because this isn't my home. Instead of being a slave to this world, I need to be a slave to righteousness. It leads to holiness - what I am desperate to be. (Romans 6:19)
I want to apologize to everyone that I have hurt. Those I've hurt with my judgements, those I've hurt with my disobedience, those I've hurt with my unholiness. My Lord knows my heart, and He knows that I'm sorry for these things. And now I ask you to forgive me. You know who you are. Yes you, and you, and you...
No comments:
Post a Comment