God handles the cuss words

The Lord has been changing my world around me. My children are growing up, my mother is being transformed before my eyes, my grandmothers are aging, my siblings are being parents and spouses, and there have even been transitions at work. However, I look at my life, and things are still the same within my physical world. I'm still single, I'm still driving the same car, working in the same position, day to day tasks are the same. But the Lord is making His presence known and He's changing how He's revealing Himself to me, I think.

I am seeing some things with new eyes or God's going about showing me the answers differently. I haven't figured this out completely, but my spirit is different.

Tonight, my daughter revealed very disturbing news about my oldest son, right before I went to Bible Study. She told me that she has had 5 of her friends, very good kids, to tell her that my seventh grader has been known to use cuss words. She was very shocked and knew that I needed to know. No, we're not naive, it's just that we've never experienced this behavior and it's new to us.

When I found out, I was embarrassed, especially since one of the kids that told her was the preacher's daughter and that he had cussed at a youth function. But not only embarrassment, but denial that I knew he wouldn't do that. Then came the irritation that he is representing our family and that he has made me look like a bad mother. But then, I remembered, that he has heard me use inappropriate language when I was angry, frustrated, scared, or ticked off. Just when I was thinking of asking him what in the world he thought he was doing, I remembered that I would be a hypocrite to punish him for the things that he's heard me say. So, I went on to Bible Study, and on the way there, I prayed for God to help me figure out how to approach this.

I knew this was a moment that I could either blow or a moment that I could allow God to use me to teach my son. I know that I've blown it several times and I didn't want to let this life lesson, real life moment to be ruined. I would tend to be critical, harsh, and totally closed-minded about the subject. I could tell him that I expect his language to be that of what God would be OK with. But I remembered, that in my new God-conscious state, that I could be fake and holier than thou or I could be very humble and approach him with the fact that this is something that neither he nor I need to take part in. That bad language doesn't lift God up, nor represent Jesus.

I mentioned this at the end of my Bible Study to some of the girls. Of course they all had their solutions or stories about how they handled it. But I didn't want to do what the norm was, nor be led by others. I wanted God to handle this with me and my son. When I got home, there was a note on my bed. Landon evidently revealed to Will that I knew about the incidents.

In this note, Will fully admitted that he'd not been living for Jesus. When I read his letter, I was humbled by his honesty and brought to tears over his apology. Here are some of his words: "I am very sorry for being so disobedient in my actions and words." "It is that I'm not trying my best to show off what a wonderful, loving mama and family I have." "I haven't been living my life for Jesus like I should and I'm praying for self-discipline and self-control. Hoping it will come soon." "I just want you to know I'm going to try and I'm going to live for Jesus!"

WOW! God convicted Will, when he knew that I found out about his language. He was truly sorry for how he'd acted and he realized the problem. This touched me and I'm so proud. Day in day out, being a mama and being the only teacher, disciplinarian, Godly influence and parent in his life. It's exhausting, but it's all worth it. For a moment like this, it's the greatest gift, I've EVER received. I want to thank God for taking care of this and it has laid the foundation for our talk. I don't think that there's a harder job than parenting but it's the most rewarding as well.

I want to commit to having more self-control and self-discipline in my life. And I want to commit to allowing my children to make mistakes and to letting God work in them instead of me constantly having my hand and say in everything. Move me out of the way God, and do a mighty work in my children's life and in mine for Your Glory. God is so good.

I love my life!

I love my life. I have three beautiful, polite children that love me. How blessed can one girl get? My sweet boy, Will is 11-1/2 and he is getting so big. He is starting to make wise decisions, and that is a comfort in itself. I was sooo afraid that I wasn't doing my job, because I have to stay on him constantly. "Will, put your shoes in the basket, Will, did you feed the dogs?, Will, brush your teeth, Will, courteousy flush! - seriously, I say his name at least 25 times a day.

Ms. Landon is such a teenager. She is all into fashion and looking her best. From her hair, her clothes, her teeth, her shoes, her accessories, everything is perfect. I can't believe that she's mine! She adores the Jonas Brothers and Jon and Kate Plus 8. It drives me crazy, because she talks about both of them all the time. Bug I'm very proud of her academically and I know that it will take her very far, if that's what she wants and if that's what God has in store for her.

My Little Bear, Ryan, is so polite and constantly moving. He is a lover and is always giving compliments (he tells me that I'm beautiful), but on the other hand, he is demanding and can be sneaky. He doesn't forget anything and he can be aggressive...kinda like his mama.

I'm sitting in my little house listening to the rain, proud that I have the kids in bed and making a list of things that I would like to change, accomplish, and things that I would like to learn. I've made a commitment to begin to really pray for my family but also my friends. I want to be a prayer warrior. If I can't help folks with my advice, money or phone calls, I can at least pray for them.

So many of my friends are going through things. I have a friend that is a 38 year old, high school English teacher that has Huntington's disease. Another friend has a daughter that has cancer. Several friends have sick parents or have just lost their parent. Some of my family and friends are having difficulties with their businesses or having a job at all.

I'm so thankful for God's Grace and I smell new beginnings in the air. I'm actually excited. I wonder who my Lord is preparing me for and I can't wait to meet him!!!! My prayer is that he loves the Lord more than anything else, that he is brave, that he loves my children, that he is honest and loves to be loved. I can't wait! My children are fabulous and I pray for a Godly man to help me raise them. He'll need a lot of wisdom! God is so good and life is wonderful.

My weekend - Blah!

This weekend was the first weekend that all three of my children were gone. I dreaded this weekend so bad. I also secretly hoped that something would happen and that they wouldn't have to go. No such luck!

Thankfully I had plans for the weekend. My sister and I went to Superior Grill and then to see Four Christmases. The food was delicious as usual, but the movie was a BIG disappointment. The best part of it was the first part and the last 15 minutes. Vince and Reece don't have the chemistry to work together. Also in every other seen, Reece's hair looked different. That was very annoying.

I had plans to go to my company Christmas party and then over to a co-worker's house for some more festivties, but I couldn't bring myself to go by myself. It's one of those divorce stigmas that I'm still working on. I stayed in bed most of the day on Saturday and even on Sunday. I skipped church - and I always look forward to church. But that would mean that I didn't have to walk anyone to the nursery or anyone to get to Sunday School besides me.

I'm pathetic, I know. I feel like I can't operate without my children. They are definitely a crutch and I'm not sure HOW to have fun without them. A movie and dinner with my sis was fabulous, but I can't tie her up all weekend and every time the kids are gone. She has her family and a hubby that really likes to do things together. He was sad that she went to the movies without him! So, my weekend started off great, but I let the loneliness and the single thing paralyze me the rest of the weekend.

At least Landon got one of her presents early. She got her beloved green iPod Nano that she's been asking for. Daddy really came through this year. Whewww...that's one less thing off the list for me to purchase! I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year. I asked Santa for a boyfriend! Maybe he'll come through for me!

This past week and weekend flew by because we were so busy. On Tuesday, we went to Ryan's brother's flag football game. We cheered him on as he played both defense and offense. At one point he almost scored. Those little legs of his carried him so fast. I was sure he was going to make a touchdown.
Church on Wednesday was terrific. I'm participating in a parenting class led by Dr. Ted Tripp. It is a biblically-based study on how to parent understanding that we react out of our heart. It helps you to focus on pointing the child to God for their heart problems instead of manipulating them to behave.
On Thursday we headed to the Zoo that was having a Wildgame Cook-off sponsored by Alabama Wildlife Federation. I tried quail, duck won tons, frog legs, venison gumbo and wild turkey bbq. It was all so good. These cooking teams really knew how to prepare the animals so they didn't have that gamey taste. This was a wonderland for Will. The kids were able to ride the carousel and pet the animals. There was a llama that was giving a little girl a kiss on the cheek.
On Friday, we rented a movie Speed Racer. What a terrible movie. I thought it would be for kids, but there were more than 5 curse words and it was poorly done. The cartoon stunk and so did the movie. While they were watching that, I was catching up on laundry and preparing for Ryan to go to his dad's for the day.
At 5:00AM, Ryan headed off with his dad and brother to go dove hunting and fishing. Ryan was excited to tell Will about the catfish he caught. And he was filthy when he got home. I had him to undress on the frontporch and head straight to the tub. Boys will be boys!
After he got home, bathed and dressed, we headed off for Atlanta for our weekend. We got to our hotel at 3:30 and checked in.

Our Summer

I've not written in a while. I hate it when I get so behind. Summer flew by in a wink. We had a great summer though.

We took our annual beach trip for the 4th of July week. My whole family went. My mom, stepdad, dad, stepmom, sister, brother-in-law, brother, sister-in-law and 12 children! My nephews have really improved on their swimming and most of them didn't need any swimmies. My oldest son and oldest nephew really got their skin boarding down pat. Little Ryan had a blast swimming in the ocean and pool. Playing in the sand with the dumptruck that my dad got him was a big hit.

Landon and Will also went to camp with our church for a week. They came back talking a hundred miles a minute and they grew up in that short time. Will went fishing, tubing, and shot rifles. Landon did the zip-line, tubing, and played volleyball. Of course they did their share of swimming. And they both dressed up for skit night - Hawaiian night.

Also, Landon and Will got baptized this summer. It was such a blessing to realize that my children came to the point in their life that they trusted Jesus as their Savior. And they wanted to let others know of their decision by being obedient and being baptized. Most of the family attended this blessed occasion.

So, that's how my summer went.
Blessings!

An interesting start to summer

Summer's here and I've not been the blogger that I committed to in late April. I've been playing catch up with my life ever since I injured my neck. I'm so thankful to be back to normal!

Landon and Will finished school with terrific grades. Will will be in the 6th grade beginning in August, and Landon in the 7th. Landon was invited to an Academic luncheon for the Top 25 students with a 95% grade average or above in the middle of May. We had lunch, honored the students and heard a speech from the new 7th Grade principal for next year. I was so touched by his speech. He spoke about Christ and his walk and even commented on a few bible verses that were his favorite. That is rare that a teacher or administrator would step up and speak about God.

Also, before school let out, Landon had campaigned for the Secretary position of the Student Government against her best friend and a few other students. She finally got the news a few days before school's dismissal for the summer, that she was voted Secretary!!!! We celebrated!

Ryan graduated from the 3-K class. Graduation was so much fun to watch. They sang songs, quoted scripture and received diplomas. Afterwards, we went to one of his buddy's house and had a swim party and cook-out. I can't believe that my little Ryan will be in 4-K in August. He's really enjoying the summer. He gets to go to the library on Wednesday's and swimming on Friday's.

We also learned that his father would be getting married in June and that he would now have a stepmother and 2 step-sisters. He was very upset to learn that his dad would be leaving his apartment and moving 20+ minutes away. He was worried about his toys not going with him and that he wouldn't be so close.

So, we've had an interesting start to the summer. Landon and Will are with their father for the first two-week interval and I MISS THEM. But exciting enough, they will be getting baptized on the night they return (this Sunday). I bought them bibles as gifts to give them, to honor their obedience and commitment to Christ.

Work is busy as usual and I'm looking forward to the beach.

Enough catch-up for now.

Blessings,

Negative

Hey! I got my results back from the MRI. NEGATIVE. No fractures or anything else that would be bad...I would rather not type them. Isn't that wonderful. I'm so thankful to my merciful God that He answered my prayers. I was a little concerned and I was pleasantly surprised when I received the news. You never know when your life is goinng to change and I was truly grateful that it wasn't going to be today with my health!!!! =)

So, I can finally go back to work tomorrow. I'm a little behind because of all the new projects going on. So, I'll be playing catch up for a while. The ladies at work have been incredible. They handled my guys and theirs too. I have been so blessed with a tremendous group of women to work with and they are truly amazing mentors to top it off. They pray for me and they advise me on things that life throws at me.

Well, we had a t-ball game tonight. We played the Yankees and we didn't win, but my little Ryan received the game ball. He wouldn't put it down while we walked to the Jeep, while I buckled him in the carseat, while we ordered to-go food, and while we were eating dinner. I finally had to confiscate it while we were getting ready for bed. He hit the ball down the third base line. His dad and I were so proud. Ryan's other brother and sister (Maggie and Josh) came to his game too. They were a little preoccupied playing with Landon and Will, but they were there, thanks to their mama.

My granny is going to have surgery on her eyes on Thursday to remove film that has grown over her eyes. Please remember my gran in your prayers. And on the same day, I'll be starting Physical Therapy. I'm not sure what to expect, but I guess we'll see.

School is coming quickly to an end. I've got to make some more plans for the kiddos. Will is so interested in rodeoes. Riding steers and roping calves. I am going to look into a camp or training for him that his friend attends. He is already talking about the rodeo in October. That's my Wilbur. Speaking of Will, he is going to be 11 next Tuesday. I've not planned the first thing, because of Mother's Day and all the bridal teas that I've got to attend in the next three weeks. I've got to start on that tomorrow.

Last thing, church on Sunday was wonderful. I visited my sister's church that I barely made to, because of a darn train that stopped on the tracks. But I made it anyway. Wonderful message!

Have a good work week.

In God's Love,

We lost

Tonight little Ryan's team didn't win, but they gave it a good try. The score was 16 to 18. Little Bear gets very bored in the outfield and I had to encourage him to stop lying in the grass over and over again! But when it comes to hitting the ball, that's another story. He can nail it and his little legs carry him so quickly to each base. He's the youngest one out there, and the other players have a hard time catching him! For his first season and being the youngest out there, I'm impressed and a little prejudice. =)

Landon has been invited to a luncheon at school for high academic achievement on May 7. And she was able to invite two guests. She asked me and her dad to attend. Brad wasn't able to commit, but she and I will be attending and I'm so excited and proud. She's always made excellent grades, but this year has been different, because she was able to challenge herself by choosing to take Advanced Math and have a full load of extracurricular activities. She's in Student Government and on the Annual/Newsletter Staff and she's able to work in the office one day a week. So she has to juggle lots of responsibility with schoolwork and organizations. I seriously couldn't be anymore proud of her than I am, if so, I would burst!! =) I've always said, if there was anyone in the world that I could be like, I'd choose Landon.

I would pick her, because of her heart, her poise, her dedication, her integrity. When I grow up, I want to be my daughter! She loves Christ, and her family and she's so aware. Anyway, if you can't tell and if you don't know her, she's pretty great.

Her plans for the summer are to attend a Christian camp and she's so excited. We are hoping to take a trip to Atlanta for a few days to visit the Aquarium, the Braves, Coca-Cola, the zoo and maybe White Water/Six Flags. We've not ever explored Atlanta other than Six Flags and according to March's Southern Living, it's a really diverse place with tons to do.

Wilbur is playing soccer and he's awesome. He scored two goals during his last game and got the breath knocked out of him. He didn't like that feeling at all. It really scared him, because that's never happened to him before. Will has never been to the church camp, so he's very excited about going.

This week has been tough with having a lot of pain, and I finally got the MRI today. I will know the results in one or two days - so hopefully by Monday, I'll know more of why I'm experiencing this pain. And maybe I'll finally get some good rest, because for the last two nights, I've had a total of 5 1/2 hours sleep. But I did get some reading done, and a lot of praying and praising God for my three treasures!!!

Have a wonderful start to the weekend.

In God's Hands,

Refreshed

Today has been a fabulous, lounging kind of day. First of all, I went to worship like I wanted to soooo bad and I was so blessed by the music and the message. It was a much needed time to reconnect with my Lord and to be with my girls from SS.

We had a wonderful lunch provided by the company I work for...I forgot to mention what I'm going through health wise. I've been experiencing severe neck pain since Wednesday before last. I thought it was a crick in my neck, probably from sleeping wrong. But it continued to hurt me Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and on Monday - I didn't go to work, because I was so nauseous from the pain.

When I returned to work on Tuesday, the ladies I work with were concerned and persuaded me to call and make an appointment. I made an appt and immediately left for the Dr. During the visit, I had some x-rays and the Dr. saw something that didn't satisfy him that resembled possible calcification that had formed from an injury or something similar to a fracture. That reminded me of an injury that I received about seven or eight weeks before while jumping on the trampoline with the kids. But it didn't cross my mind that it could have resulted in my neck hurting this time. Anyway, they set me up to see an orthopedic doctor the following day. I went and they did more x-rays. The Dr. wasn't satisfied enough, so he insisted that I get an MRI. In the meantime, I was not permitted to go back to work until we found out more. I am supposed to go on Monday, still waiting for the pre-certification of insurance to go through before I can have the test. I'm taking muscle relaxers and pain medication to alleviate as much pain as possible. But, the pain is not going away. So, I'm a little worried.

Back to the food, the ladies at work called Honey Baked Ham and had them deliver me half of a HAM, garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and carrot cake. The kids and I dug in and enjoyed every bite. I work for an amazing place where we are family.

I am a little anxious about the results and I'm trying to put it in God's Hands, remembering that He won't bring me to something without bringing me through it, regardless of the outcome. And that He has all the control and He loves me and whatever happens, it's for a purpose and for His Glory. So with that, I just go forward and try to live the way it pleases Him.

I've had a wonderful day and feeling refreshed spiritually. Hope everyone has a great week and I appreciate any prayers. =)

In His Grace,

Just a swanging

I was called out to the backyard to find my Wilbur in the tree hanging on a vine like it was a swing. I was a little surprised at Will's climbing considering he had been complaining of chest pains all afternoon due to the breath being knocked out of him during his soccer game at noon. I guess he was feeling better!

We've had a great weekend so far, other than Ryan's t-ball game being cancelled because of the Talladega race. One of the coaches on the opposing team works for Buffalo Rock a sponsor of Nascar. But the thing is, they didn't bother to tell us until we got to the park. Oh well, we needed the practice.

I've recently joined my high school alumni site catching up with friends that I went to high school with. It's great to see friends that I've not seen in years being Moms and Dads and where they are now. Surprisingly, a lot of the folks have stayed in the area, and a lot of them married people that we went to school with. Almost all of my friends are married, and it feels a little weird adding the status that I'm divorced. I feel different. =( Oh well, that's life and that's where God has me right now.

I'm looking forward to church tomorrow. I need to be recharged and spend some good time with the girls in my Sunday School class. They are all so wonderful and we are like a little family.

In His Grace,

A Baron's Birthday

We celebrated Little Bear's birthday a few Sundays ago at our local minor league team, the Birmingham Barons. All of my nephews were there, most wearing their baseball team jerseys and gloves in hand.

Granddaddy Randy was very busy taking one grandson out of his lap and pulling a new one up. I don't know who was having more fun, the grandsons or Granddaddy! With a watergun present all the boys were having a blast squirting EVERYONE at Granddaddy's persuading, if you want to call it that.

Mimi and Nana were passing Lindsey and Tate back and forth while the Mamas were making sure all children were accounted for, faces were wiped clean, and that the babies had clean diapers. We ate dogs, popcorn, nachos and slurped down many sodas, we cheered and participated in all the fun.

Wilbur talked someone out of a t-shirt, Jesse got one of the bats that was signed by a player and the little ones got their baseball signed by the mascots! And thanks to Nanny Carla we have this event documented. Kudos, Carla.

The cake was delicious and the personal visit from the mascots topped off our terrific Sunday afternoon. What's better than watching baseball with all of your family? Nothing! Who needs friends when you have all these cousins!!!!

Our Trip to the Zoo

Ryan and I went to the zoo today. We attended with his preschool that he will soon be graduating from. He will no longer be in the 3's. This year has flown by.
All the students were wearing their tie-dyed t-shirts with their handprints. We had a blast. We saw the new Butterfly Exhibit, looked at the alligators (man were they huge), sealions (one was barking like a dog), and of course the snakes.
We rode the train, where we met a grandmother, the nanny and a little girl named Olivia. I was so proud of Ryan. He has such nice manners, especially with older ladies. He was replying, yes ma'am, no ma'am, and thank you. I was grinning from ear to ear and on the inside too!
We talked about how God made all the animals and that Noah put the animals on the ark when the great flood destroyed the Earth. Ryan has grown so much this year.

Terrible Two's Aren't So Terrible

Well, I thought I was going to get to escape terrible two's...you see, my older two didn't have this lovely issue. But I thank my Lord for this adorable third child, Ryan A. everyday. Whether I am wrestling him to sit in his carseat, begging him to stop splashing in the bath, or covering his mouth, trying to muffle his yells in a restuarant, because he doesn't want to be in his highchair...I still thank God. Sometimes it may be thankfulness through clenched teeth and the others time it is with a tear in my eye and a smile in my soul.

His daddy thinks he's funny and that he's never met another child like him, but he is with me on the misbehavior. He doesn't want Ry to be an unruly little beast, but more like a perfect little gentelmen with plenty of manners.

Ryan is at the stage where is repeating words that his mama, daddy and big brothers and sisters say. Words that are looked down on especially in the two year old class at a Christian daycare. =) We all try not to say them (Shut up, stupid, etc.), but find our selves being repeated pretty often. So, we are really trying to work on that. Also, we love to wrestle and play rough at home...this is another intolerable thing at daycare. Last week, Ryan received a straight face on his calendar with the phrase "Was sent to the office for tackling other children". I blame that one on Will and myself!!!! But the age difference is the biggest problem, I'm 30 and he's two and half! No really the little thing is surrounded by everyone older than him, so he's left to fend for himself.

I have pictures of him with a pacifier in his mouth that belongs to Landon's doll, pictures of him with a mohawk in the tub, and pictures on his dirty little face at dinner time. He is our little clown. He is a people-pleasurer, much like his father. He loves to sing, "Twinkle, twinkle little star, and Sweet Home Alabama", and we all love to hear him say "Roll Tide", "Watch this Daddy", "Bo Henry" or "I pooted".

He also has the weird phobia. It's floating hair in the bath tub. He is scared it is going to get him. He hops out of the bath tub and says "It going to get me." It is the weirdest thing. Landon says he's scared because it looks like the jellyfish tentacle that wrapped around his arm this summer at the ocean. I think she is right. By the way, Ryan loves the beach. He loves the river, the pool, the bath, the creek, anything with water.

He is learning his colors and shapes at school and we quiz him on them at night at home. We also proudly display his artwork on the refrigerator. Terrible two's aren't so terrible. Especially in the night when he wraps his arms around my neck and says "I love you Mommy".

I Want to Apologive and Make You Proud

It's funny how old habits die hard. I have tried to maintain control of my life and to do right, but I find myself falling flat on my face every time. I can't do this. I have to trust God with my life. I have to give Him the control.
I will never be the best mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend, future wife to anyone until I do this. There are so many important people in my life. There are many that I've hurt or let down, and there are some that have never seen the real "Kim". Some people know me like the back of their hand and some that only know me superficially. But nevertheless the depth of your knowledge of me, I have a new part of me to reveal. I hope that I can make you proud. I want to ultimately please my God, but what a added pleasure to be able to make others proud too.
I know that I'm not perfect, but it's OK to strive for perfection. It's not right to judge, but is OK to lead and hold others accountable (answerable). I want to handle others correctly, but I have to find this balance. That means I have to be instructed by God before I speak, before I act, before I do anything. Man what a battle for Kim. I am so well-known for my control issues and using my on strength.
One thing that I'm sure of is that I need to be aware that I have died to sin when I asked Jesus in my heart. I was crucified with Christ. I have to remember to turn my back on this world because this isn't my home. Instead of being a slave to this world, I need to be a slave to righteousness. It leads to holiness - what I am desperate to be. (Romans 6:19)
I want to apologize to everyone that I have hurt. Those I've hurt with my judgements, those I've hurt with my disobedience, those I've hurt with my unholiness. My Lord knows my heart, and He knows that I'm sorry for these things. And now I ask you to forgive me. You know who you are. Yes you, and you, and you...

When will I know God's Will for my life?

I have been wondering for a long time. I have been wandering around, wrapped up in a relationship that hasn't met God's confirmation. I have been praying and waiting for signs, for something, anything. Maybe God has answered me and I didn't want to see the answer or maybe He isn't ready to answer me, because I'm not ready for what He has in store. Sometimes I just get frustrated and sick of wondering. Then others times, I realize that I haven't been living right and I have be in sin, so how did God hear me anyway???
I know my God loves me and He wants what is best for me. I feel like I have wasted so much time, and I can't get it back. My two oldest have grown so much and it's a blur. I haven't been focused on them like I should have been and I have missed some beautiful moments. I have always wondered when my phone would ring next, if I was going to receive a text message, if I was going to get an email, waiting to be surprised and hoping for everthing to fall into place. I dare not say how long I've been living like this. It's to painful and shameful to say aloud.
When will I know God's Will for my life? That's a good question, and I don't know when I will know. I hope it will be soon, but I hope I'm ready for it.
I pray that God will continue to change me and I pray that I will continue to push forward toward the prize. I want my Lord to be glorified. I have yet to say "so long to self", but slowly, everyday I let go a little more. I am a creature of habit, so this is so hard for me. I like consistency. I don't like change like the next guy, but to be able to be submissive to God's Will, I have to be ready for anything. I am excited but I am scared. I want to be willing but I know exactly how controlling I am.
If God is going to work, I have to move out of the way and let Him be God. He needs to be God over what I watch, what I listen to, what I think about, what I love. I haven't lived like this since I was young. And I didn't understand then what I was going to face in this old world.
I thought I knew so much. I thought there was nothing that could surprise me....nothing to bring me down. How wrong, prideful, arrogant and selfish I was. I have realized what kind of person I am today because of my past, and I don't like what I see. I have a lot to change with God's help. But I am promised victory for my obedience. I am promised God's best if I surrender. Maybe I do know God's Will, maybe it's to just grow and to be where I am right now. Who knows, other than Him.
It's tough "on my way back to Him"! But the payoff is priceless.

Is dating right for me?

I've been married before. I was married for 8, almost 9 years. Being thirty and unmarried, poses the question, "will I ever marry again?" At this point in my life, I don't know the answer to that. I love the idea of being married. I love the thought of waking up to someone every morning, someone to love, some one to worship with, someone to be my leader and someone to help with the daily chores (cutting grass, taking out the trash, giving the dog a bath). If you noticed, that's the ones I don't like to do (man jobs)! But by no means, do I just want to be married to have these things.
I want to have my God's blessing, His direction, His best! I sometimes think I have messed that up by divorcing. And this causes me to have constant regret and it leaves me feeling depressed and that I will never again be happy. But maybe this shouldn't be my focus. I am wondering if I need to take some time away from love and the thoughts of marriage and just focus on "my first love". If I will focus on Him and spend time with Him, I will develop His characters, and that will be even more helpful when I'm searching for Godly character in my future husband.
I was googling the words "on my way back to Him" and I found this interesting site. It was about "why dating does not work". I have to say that it captured my attention, since I'm on my way back to Him. I want to please God with my life once again. So, I began to read this manual posted on www.passionforpurity.org.
Here the author reasons why she wrote it, "I believe that we can gain knowledge two ways, one from doing something right, or from doing it wrong then realizing the right way. Much of my knowledge in life was from doing something wrong, learning, then doing it right. Unfortunately I've "been there...done that!" This article expresses my life lessons and my little bits of wisdom that I've learned along the way."
I definitely encourage anyone and everyone that is single, or who has teenage children, or who needs a guide to help others that are single regarding dating, pre-marital sex, and post-marital dating, to read this.
I would appreciate any prayers lifted up for me regarding my dating life. You see, I have three very special treasures that depend on my wisdom through Christ to make the right decision. And the way I live my life today, is teaching my children how to live their lives tomorrow.

Landy makes Student of the Week

I was so happy when Landon came home and presented me with papers that announced, "Landon Jones is Student of the Week". She is so excited, especially that it will be announced on the local radio station. She is a fifth grader and is so grown up now. I made a promise to her when she was in Third grade after constant pleadings "can I take my purse to school?" So I pulled this one out of the air, not believing it would ever get here, "you can in the Fifth grade". Boy, how can it already be time to allow her to take her purse?
On the first day of school, she proudly packed her purse (it was more important than the newly stocked backpack). I was happy for her, because she didn't ask anymore and patiently waited for her fifth school year.
I have a lot to be thankful for in my life, but I must say that I swell up with gratitude to God every time I think of her or someone says her name. She is my firstborn and she is very gifted.
She is my best friend and if I could be like anyone in the world, I would choose to be like her. So, I proudly post this little girl as my first post. God knew where I would be today and life with Landon is so sweet.